A few of our friends have had twins and one of the things they have told us about is feeding both of the girls at the same time. Even the sound of this sounds fraught with difficulties. After a couple of attempts it’s proving to be just as difficult as it sounds.
The level of concentration required is probably beyond most blokes. So far it’s certainly beyond me! Ayrton Senna winning the Brazil Grand Prix in torrential rain stuck in sixth gear levels of concentration is what I’m talking about. My concentration span on a nice day with a good nights sleep and a healthy breakfast can stretch as far as 4 minutes. This seems to be someway short of what’s required particularly as most of the time I have missed breakfast and not slept.
Believe it or not thats not even the trickiest bit. It appears to require 20 minutes of intense concentration on TWO things at once. Yep thats right two things at the same time. What’s that I hear you say? Surely it can’t be done! At the moment I’m inclined to agree.
We have been given some feeding bean bags which can be moulded to fit the babies perfectly and with one either side of you the idea is that you can feed one with each hand. This brings us to the next major problem. Using your other hand. I am very right handed and use my left hand for very little when I think about it. I don’t even change gear with my left hand as I have an automatic car! Having to carefully control the position of the bottle with my left hand while doing this with my right hand as well requires a level of multi tasking that currently I am not capable of! Nods of agreement from my significant other.
My current multi tasking skills don’t go far beyond watching Sky Sports News while reading the paper and drinking a cup of coffee. That’s THREE things at once. Not bad I hear you say (maybe?).
The first attempt I managed 5 minutes (1 minute beyond my previous concentration record please note) before exasperation levels hit dangerously high levels and K came in from the kitchen to rescue the situation. Apparently the ice cool demeanour that I try to maintain internally never actually makes it to the surface and the grunts, tuts and heavy sighs were a dead giveaway that all was not going well. I had spun off on the first lap.
The second attempt was an improvement. While still falling short of Sennaesque performance levels there was definitely an improvement. Maybe not that much “simul-feeding” as you might say or the full race distance, more alternate feeding and retirement at the first pit stop. But still Rome wasn’t built in a day and all that and there’s certainly going to be plenty of opportunity work on my technique!
Mrs B strolls down the stairs this morning. “I fed them both at the same time last night”. “How was that?” I ask. “Not a problem really”. Says it all.