Month: December 2011

“Licking the Cot”

Posted on

All you Happy Days fans will remember when The Fonze “jumped the shark” on water skis near the end of the series!  Apparently “jumping the shark” has now become a phrase that refers to someone or something that has run out of ideas and resorts to ludicrous action or in the case of a TV show a stupid plot line to try to keep going.  Think Boby’s resurrection in Dallas or Phil Mitchell becoming a heroin addict in Eastenders!

My moment the other night was “licking the cot!”

Picture the scene.  After 4 sleepless nights on the trot on duty with E & I it was Sunday night and my turn for the sanctuary of the top room away from the action and a full 8 hours sleep.  Yep that’s right 8 hours sleep.  The holy grail.

Tiredness and sleep deprivation do funny things to the brain although in my case it would appear it actually just turns it off!!  “Life support systems only” as they say on Star Trek!

Feeling physically sick with tiredness by the time I had finished the last feed at midnight I tip toed upstairs to insert the ear plugs.  So far so good.  At 2am the beautiful silence was disturbed by the first chunterings of discontent from L across the corridor.  As L’s crying intensified she was joined in sympathy by E & I who decided to join in the fun and support their sisters plight!

With crying babies in surround sound I threw the covers off and stomped into L’s room to see what was the matter.  Obviously her teeth were hurting so the magic Calpol was the only option after a little hug.  In the dark, in my boxer shorts (steady ladies) and with a none active brain I obviously poured the Calpol all over the cot missing the spoon completely.  “Bollox!”

L under one arm, dripping calpol bottle in the other, there was only one thing to do.  Bend down and attempt to lick all of the calcpol off the cot. What L thought I was doing I can only imagine!  Why didn’t you put one or the other down to get a cloth from the bathroom and wipe it off I hear you say.  LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEMS ONLY is the only explanation!

L just looked at me with disdain as if to say “If that’s the best you can do we are all doomed”.

Indeed…..